If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
