I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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