i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
