so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
