So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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