I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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