glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Randomize
