it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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