The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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