So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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