im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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