Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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