just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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