would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize