Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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