cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
where am i from again
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
