I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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