i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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