Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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