You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
