i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
