He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize