obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
