weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
