Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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