At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
