Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
