He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
