He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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