yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
