East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Apparently you make a good broom.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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