I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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