God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
