my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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