I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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