i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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