C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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