Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
