Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
being pregnant is like rehab
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
