I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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