girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
