the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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