ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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