its not stalking. its research.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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