Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
