hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Jerry, you need to find god
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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