At least make sure they are 18
Why
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
