he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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