im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
