I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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