also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
