the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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