We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
