My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
