i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
