Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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