if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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